Mama Said…

I was walking to the bus stop amid the snow and slush a couple of mornings ago, when I overheard a rushing mother say to her toddler who was struggling to keep up: “You are too young to have something hurting you!” This was in response to an unintelligible complaint the child had made seconds before.

I walked on, but as I sat on the bus, I got very annoyed. Was that woman insane? Did she understand what she had just said to that child? Does she ever listen to that child when she voices discomfort? What if the little girl really was in pain?

Some may question if this is even my business, but the truth is so many children go unheard in this world until something tragic happens and then you have mothers breaking down in the street exclaiming: “He was such a good boy!” or “Lord, why my child!” Or, they are in court room trying to explain to a judge how they weren’t aware that their daughters and sons were being molested. ..These same mothers who had made a habit of ignoring the thoughts and concerns of their children.

This is a sensitive topic for me, as I have nephews for whom I would go to the ends of the earth barefoot and naked. Their mother, too, tries to hear them out at every turn, mostly because we were raised to be quiet and to believe that suffering in silence is better than letting everyone know your business. Besides covering up the terrible acts committed against children, this iron-clad approach to parenting causes one other side affect: children deserting their parents for makeshift families who are perceived as more attentive.

This issue can spiral into a more devastating and complex one, but for that little girl who was trying so hard to keep up with her harried mum and who dared to say she couldn’t, I hope her mum starts listening.

*photo by Margan Zajdowicz used under Creative Common License.