Beauty & The Hairy Truth
Friday, July 24th, 2009 | 2:28 pm
Like many black women, the road to my current, beloved short and natural do was paved by ironing combs, lye, rollers, finger waves, and braid extensions. Arriving at this satisfied place with my hair wasn’t particularly difficult (I’ve always loved the texture of my natural kinks and burning the skin off my scalp began to feel like self mutilation), but for other black people in my West Indian dominated Brooklyn neighborhoods of Bed-Stuy and Crown Heights, I had seriously lost my mind.
“Why you want to look like a man for?” One woman asked me with genuine concern.
“Big old dyke,” One guy said under his breath when he passed me on the street.
A few relatives chimed in with, “I don’t understand why you want to look ugly so.”
One barber even refused to shape up my low afro, saying, “Sis, I don’t want you to look like a boy.”
Dealing with the negative comments became a personal challenge of epic proportions. As a teenager who had suffered verbal abuse at home, to get tongue lashed by strangers — many of whom I now understand meant well in a truly twisted way — was nearly crushing. But, as is my nature, I persevered and owned my natural do’s, which included at one point, a purposely disorganized messy afro ten inches in height.
So, you can understand why I feel for Solange Knowles, who two weeks ago decided to abandon weaves only to be cussed out by gossip sites and her fans who were painfully vile in their discontent at her personal choice. I was appalled and saddened to read other black women write things like, “She looks like an ugly boy…” “She’s just completely confused,” and, “that bitch looks nasty. No wonder she is jealous of white girls…” (this last one makes no damn sense). Can you say self-hating, narrow-minded, and just plain insane?
When will we begin to honor all forms of our own beauty? When will we respect the diversity amongst our own? When will we begin to value ourselves and each other enough to cut out our own silver tongues?
Because they do not like the coal they crush the diamonds, only to wonder why their currency is scorned; forever the improvished outcasts. —
Scetches
To tear down Solange is to tear down ourselves.
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Like many black women, the road to my current, beloved short and natural do was paved by ironing combs, lye, rollers, finger waves, and braid extensions. Arriving at this satisfied place with my hair wasn’t particularly difficult (I’ve always loved the texture of my natural kinks and burning the skin off my scalp began to feel like self mutilation), but for other black people in my West Indian dominated Brooklyn neighborhoods of Bed-Stuy and Crown Heights, I had seriously lost my mind.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/holipsism/2009/06/01/Processed-Weaved-vs-Natural-Hair
Go Lla!! Beautiful writing as always.
you know I'm toying with cutting my hair again and the case is getting stronger!
After having my hair short for nearly 10yrs I've gone back to long relaxed hair and after 2years I'm fed up already. What intruiged me the most when I went from long to short to long again is how pple reacted to me. I was either some 'back to my roots' activist, a dyke – which incidentally I am, wanna be a man or ill. It couldn't just be a hairstyle which was all it was.
What never ceases to amaze me is how much of who we are is wrapped up in what's on our head. It takes a certain confidence to be able to stand out from the blond skulcap weave thingy crowd that is Beyonce et al. Go Solange! I'll be joining u soon I'm sure.
Bisi x
So true, my ex said you should grow your hair long you look like a man…whatever which is why he’s an ex…
My hair suits me doesn’t have to suit other folks but they feel free to put a label on you for it..
I’ll just keep rocking my twa until I decide to do something else…
Go ahead Solange you look absolutely beautiful!